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Floating above us
Wandering up in the sky
The cloudy canvas
P.S: My first hiaku experiment...i hope this isn't wrong or anthing wierd...!!
please post suggestions!!!
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A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And ...
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umm i'll do this and they will b hurt!! ohks if i do this , she will be unhappy..!!! ahaann , this shud b done bttt wat about him????...
Well, it is not wrong or weird.
ReplyDeleteIts actually nice.
Though, I am not an expert on Haiku, but I can say it sounds lovely and is quite better than mine.
Well, keep writing.
Thanks..:)
DeleteYour 1st attempt is spot on ... well done Mani ... and you have stuck to the 5-7-5 format, which again shows your writing skill ... good job ... waiting to read more from you !!!
ReplyDeleteI am following both your blogs now :-) Do visit my blog and provide your regular feedback :-)
Thankss..i will surely write more..:)
Deletewill surely provide a regular feed back.
Do metion ur seggestions if any whereever u think.
Keep writing..:)
Just one suggestion about haiku ... try to write everything in small letter ... do not start a new line with a capital letter ... because a capital letter means it's a new line, a new idea, and haiku should flow, not break after each line :-)
DeleteOhh sure, i didn't knew it...the next time i'll keep this in mind..:)
DeleteThanks..:)